10 Therapists advise on Dating in your 30s and 40s Jennifer Klesman

Typically no one intends to be single and dating in their 30s and 40s so to find yourself there can be upsetting especially if marriage and a family are things you hope to have one day. While it is more and more common to find love after 30, this can still cause a lot of stress and isolation. Especially if you’re feeling ‘left behind’ with these life milestones or your friends are at a different point in their lives than you are. So from Cityscape Counseling, here are 10 therapists who advise on dating in your 30s and 40s.

1. “You are not alone! I promise.”

-Jessica Dattalo, LCSW

2. “Let go of “shoulds” and rigid timeline expectations. Let this liberate you from unhelpful thoughts and remember that you are on your own journey.” 

-Dani Parmacek, LCPC, R-DMT

3. “Embrace your own style and what is important to you during this time. Dating can be a draining or stressful process at times, and for most people, it is a marathon. Pace yourself and be patient with yourself and the process.”

-Lisa Himelstieb, LCPC

4. “Be patient and let go of those expectations of how it “should” go.”

-Jaclyn Feldman, LCSW

5. “Learn about your attachment style as this can have a significant impact on how you approach dating, including how you communicate and behave in relationships.”

-Jennifer Week, LCSW

6. “Take the time to identify/and own who you are, your non-negotiables, understand what makes you happy, and your quirks. Knowing those things while you date, may help you to find those who compliment those qualities, challenge you to grow in a positive way, and be open to allowing another person who knows who they are to join you in relationship. ”

-Aisha Robinson, LCPC

7. “Identify your top 10 core values for life right now (e.g. “community,” “curiosity,” “adventure”) and let those guide your screening process vs strictly what interests you have in common. Also, consider reading up on the three main attachment styles to increase awareness for how you may show up in relationship.”

-Chelsea Mann, LPC

8. “Don’t let age be a reason you compromise on what’s important to you.”

-Bari Rothfeld, LCSW

9. “The dating pool is not a stagnant pool; it is a flowing river that is always refreshing. The good ones aren’t all taken. People are getting out of relationships and are feeling ready to date all of the time so don’t get discouraged when dating and finding good matches seem hopeless.”

-Jennifer Klesman, LCSW

10. “Be yourself and be honest about your intentions upfront. If you’re looking for something long-term or want babies it’s important to discover whether the person you’re seeing has the same goals and values in the beginning rather than wasting your time to later learn that you fundamentally want different things. Also, as hard as it may be, try not to hold yourself to society’s unspoken timeline. So many people feel pressured to find someone to marry at a certain age or have kids within a certain amount of time yet this is your experience and nobody else’s so it would be wise to take it at your own pace rather than rush into things because society or family pressure says you must.”

-Jillian Ross, LCSW

Feel free to check out our 10 therapists and more who advise on dating in your 30s and 40s and set up an appointment at Cityscape Counseling.

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