• Jennifer Klesman, LCSW

Avoiding Dating Burnout

The longer you’re single, the more difficult it can become to continue to date. You may feel as if you’re only getting older and you’re “running out of time” if you want to start a family. Or you’re newly single and decided to dive all into the dating scene, only to be faced with disappointment, ghosting, and dead ends. Things can start to feel hopeless and the classic mentality that “all of the good ones are taken” creeps into your mind.





Dating burnout is real and it comes in the form of pushing yourself to continue to date despite being tired of it. Red flags of burnout occurring are:

  • not being excited for dates

  • matching in apps and not wanting to talk to anyone

  • feeling more exhaustion than excitement when talking to a new prospect

If finding a partner feels like a chore then it’s time for a break. Despite the pressure to continue moving forward, breaks from dating are a very good thing. When you’re fatigued, there is a real possibility of overlooking someone who was otherwise a good match. Likewise, you might be more vulnerable to ignoring red flags and continuing to date someone who is not your match.


Time spent single and not looking for a partner is not time wasted. Spend your time improving your life as a single person. Being happy with your single life can improve your overall happiness and renew your approach to dating. It is a time to reconnect with friends, family, and the hobbies that make you happy.


The risk of dating while burned out can lead to feelings of depression, amplify the feelings that come with rejection, and negatively impact your self-worth. When you’re in a positive place with your life as a single person you can combat the frustration that comes from dating easier because you have a fulfilling life surrounding you.


Taking a break when feeling burned out can greatly help you refocus and dive back into dating with a clearer mindset; so, feel free to take a break to take care of yourself, and return to dating when you feel ready. Be kind to yourself in the turbulent world of apps and online dating because it’s an experience that is new to this generation and is creating new norms when finding love. With that said, you must remind yourself that you are also setting the norms for yourself regarding how to do it in a healthy way.





© 2020 by Cityscape Counseling Chicago

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